Leben und leben lassen
Leben und leben lassen
The art of allowance
In German we say „Leben und leben lassen“, which means „Live and let live“. For me this is one of my guide-lines in life. When we appreciate each other, when we celebrate our diversity, we can’t do anything else than treat ourselves and our environment well.
It sounds easy but it’s definitely an art. Especially when we get older and we experienced disappointments in life. There are many traps where we are tempted to think „aaw, just do it yourself“, “just find out for yourself“. Being convinced that we know it all. And the whole world should live how we want.
But yeah, reality is different. And I guess accepting this, experiencing it (our diversity) as something wonderful, also leads to the fact that we start to take (full) responsibility for our own actions and thoughts. Actually when we do that, we don’t need to blame others anymore for not doing what we expected them to do … then we are really free. Then we can let ourselves and others live and be.
My own learnings
I’ve been my whole life quite tolerant, patient and flexible with others. This feels sort of natural for me. Still, being part in this society, which is focused often on competition and also (still) a lot on the external (more showing off than turning inwards), I was definitely not immune against those „traps“. Assuming that I needed to adapt in order to survive. And pain, fear, insecurities made it sometimes hard to fully accept others, their choices and well, at the end, just let go (even when it hurt).
Entering a space of allowance
One of my biggest gifts during my education in dance therapy (at the Deutsche Gesellschaft für Tanztherapie), was the approach of acceptance and allowance. For me personally this meant, for example, to let others talk (a lot) without getting irritated :-) To learn to choose: either I give them the space (and try to learn from what they tell). Or, I take the space. At the end, we are all here to take our space, aren’t we?
We can’t always wait until someone gives us that opportunity. And then again, when we get irritated, start judging/blaming, it’s also okay. We can be kind with ourselves, accept that this is difficult for us. We could even make it a topic – and voilà, we have taken our space and there is a chance for transformation (not only for ourselves, also for others).
There is nothing “wrong” with you
In all my healing practices - the Dancetherapy, the Massaging - allowance and acceptance is one of my main principles. It’s really magical how creating a space of acceptance can be healing in itself. I guess, many of our blockages, sicknesses, disorders, come from a highly-critical inner (or outer) voice. Punishment for doing something „wrong“, different or unusual. How would the world be, if we could live and let others live?