Honesty in Relationships
Sometimes it is a matter of time, but at the end honesty always pays off.
There are reasons why we are closing down, shutting all our vessels, pull back, turn away. I believe at one point in our life, we are forced to break open – if we want to or not. Being gentle and forgiving with ourselves, honoring ourselves for our sensitivity, for our protection, for feeling what we feel, is the best step, I believe. With compassion towards ourselves our body knows, it is safe … and that’s the moment where we can open up.
Forcing and pushing ourselves is mostly working in the opposite direction. It’s the same with other people. When we push them, when we want them to change, they mostly run away :-)
So, how can we give ourselves time and still develop and grow?
What we can do is, show ourselves again and again the “light”, the state where we want to be. Making small steps, again and again. But then also honoring our boundaries. When it feels enough. When we need our comfort zone, our safe bubble again. And then allow ourselves to go there. To feel safe. To rest. To relax. Before we dare to make the next step.
Honesty is forgiveness
When we are fully honest to ourselves and others, we are at the same time forgiving. We bring softness into places that were normally closed or tense. Places that we used to protect, hide. Shining a light on those places is the path to forgiveness. We accept a part in us – and in the other. And by doing that, we say “that is what’s there at this moment… and it’s okay”. And this will mostly also bring understanding and forgiveness to the other person.
Moving gracefully through this world
How does moving in integrity look like? It is quite “simple”… the next time you want to turn left, but turn right, stop for a moment and then turn left (or at least become aware of your preference). When you want to leave a situation and you stay… stop, and give yourself the chance to actually leave. If you want to hug someone or become enthusiastic about something (although you might be the only one in the room that feels like that), let it be… and follow your feeling.
There is always a chance to re-adjust, to go back and still make that step, that we wanted to do. It is actually never too late for forgiveness nor honesty. And, don’t we all want to live in (and leave) this world light-hearted…?
Remember, you don’t need to throw yourself into the deep dark sea immediately, you can cross wave after wave, relax a bit on your back floating… before you make a dive! And the next one. And the next… until you are in the depths of the ocean, making this your new home.
Good luck with your next honest step!
